Monday, June 28, 2010

Put on your big girl panties and get over it.....


Nice title to my post - huh.... Well, I guess this is my motto for right now. I have not been posting lately. To be honest with you, I have just been mad at life. Things have definitely not turned out the way I had hoped or dreamed. I have had the biggest pity party this side of the Mississippi. Sorry I did not invite anyone, but trust me - you would not have wanted to have been there. It was ugly!!!

Our lives changed overnight. What started out as just a little dime size spot on my husbands arm turned into a life altering illness. For those of you who are just now reading about all of this - let me catch you up. In March, my husband went to our local doctor for a physical. While there the doctor took a biopsy of a small mole on his arm. Within a week, he had the diagnosis of Melanoma. At the time, they thought it was just Stage 1. After a few surgeries, they determined it was Stage III. This meant the doctors needed to do a much more advanced form of treatment. He is now undergoing Chemotherapy. For the first month, he will go 5 days a week. After that, he will give himself chemo injections for the next 11 months. Yep - you read that right - 11 months. The doctors believe this is the best treatment for his type of cancer.

So, what have I learned through all of this? I spent the first month or so trying to determine that God was trying to teach me. Of course, it must be ALL ABOUT ME. But then our pastor - Brother Ron gave a message from Habakkuk. Not a book I have read very often - but some very powerful stuff. I realized much like Habakkuk, I thought God needed reminded of all the bad stuff going on around here. I wanted Him to show me what this all meant to me. And finally He showed me - sometimes things just happen. It doesn't always have to mean anything. What I have learned is that I am stronger than I ever imagined. Pity party and all, I am a very strong woman. It also helped me to realize how crazy in love I am with my husband. Maybe I had started to take him and our relationship for granted after 18 years. I have laughed more lately than ever before. I laugh at the silliest things. Things that before I migh have overlooked before.
So, for now - I will put on my big girl panties and get over it. I may have moments that I try to return to my pity party, but I promise I will move forward. Keep us in your prayers. We still have a long road ahead.
Tilll later...

4 comments:

Somewhere In The Sun said...

Diane, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I'm sure it is a horrible roller coaster ride. You are all in my prayers!!

~Lynn

Gretchen said...

Saw you tried to get me on Facebook. So sorry I missed you! I have been praying for you my friend. Hope you can feel it.

On another note, how are those kiddos doing? We want an update on the little ones!!!!!

connie said...

Diane, we are praying for you! I'm so sorry life has dealt you such a blow. We know God is still on the throne!
Love you!!!

Maria said...

I am inspired by your courage and wisdom! Hang in there!